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These Solemn Tears [entries|friends|calendar]

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[13 Jan 2006|02:19am]
the sky is blue
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the french..... (cont'd) [18 Nov 2004|08:21pm]
yeah so this French girl isn't attractive unfortunately. However she is really cool and plays the guitar. She is most definately black, and that i did not see coming. And that should not go to say that i have something against blacks. But yeah anyway, i actually really hope she moves in because she is ever so cool and it would be awesome.
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the french..... [18 Nov 2004|06:53pm]
[ mood | perplexed ]

So there is a French exchange student on their way to my house right now to see if they want to stay with us while going to Edmonds. They are of the female orientation, and rumor has it that the only she is interested in staying at my house is because there is a 19 year old guy living here as well. Hmmmmm... i'm not quite sure what to think about this whole situation. Anyway, that is all i have to say except for that the French are usually attractive and this could be a recipe for disaster. Some one please help me...

I love you all and i hopefully see you all soon

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Amazing Grace [11 Nov 2004|08:00am]
[ mood | AMAZED ]

A brighter time where the sun shines all of the time has hit my life and lift my thanks to the Lord... I love you all and you all mean more to me than words can express. I ask you to look at yourself and at your life and ask yourself if this is where you want to be. I call each and every one of you out to a higher standard than what we all have let ourselves fall victim to. We have the power to move mountains and people. So let us do just that, lets change a nation, let us change a world. The doors are open and it is up to us to enter. I think that we have all fallen victim to one to many drunken lullabies and it is time to move from that time and lift ourselves up, out of this rut that has come to define, at leat, my life. We all know that change is in our future and that, that change will bring bigger and better things, and my friends i say that time is now. CHANGE IS NOT A GIVEN, IT IS A DECISION. What is keeping you from making that change? Friends? Situation? Those are but merely excuses and compromise, do not make compromises they will do nothing but bring you down. Accept the unchangeable do not compromise not to change that which is changable.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and He will give you peace beyond all understanding." I love you Phil.

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subjects are so subjective aren't they? [09 Nov 2004|07:04am]
[ mood | little people...think about it ]

hmm, i am bored and don't actually remember getting on my computer let alone the process of directing myself to lj... odd. i'm pretty sure that i'm an insomniac now.... it is fun.... i don't go to bed until like 6 or 7 every morning. Did you know that the Craftmatic adjustable bed is available for only 10 easy payments of 139.99? INCREDIBLE!!! I mean it changes shape while you are on it!! absolutely mind blowing if you ask me... hopefully i am going to be throwing a root beer kegger at my moms house this week, i'm going to get trashed.... everyone is invited, we'll play Parchessi...i have decided that at some point in the past little while i dumped a bucket of sand in my eyes which i also don't remember doing but that too is a lot of fun... i think i am going to go to bed now i think i might be tired but i'm not sure yet. I love you all and the show on saturday is going to be UNBELEIVEABLE!!!

Ps there is an infomercial with too really creepy little people who are rich and trying to make you rich too, but come on they're little people...think about it they're like 40 and still use the youth urnal to piss in....

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........................ [03 Nov 2004|06:27pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

The most destructive habit: Worry
WHy spend time worrying about something that is over and cannot be fixed... Bush is president for four more years. It seems to me more relavant to worry about things we can change for instance how divided our country is.

The greatest joy: Giving
How about we give the President the respect he deserves at least where we can. I always found it easier to take on positions of leadership knowing that even if they disagreed with me i had the respect of the people i was leading.

The ugliest personality trait: Selfishness
I think this is self-explanatory

The most endangered species: Dedicated leaders
If you voted for Kerry and thought that he would be more dedicated than Bush, you need to go back and take a second look at the facts. Neither of this elections candidates were fit to be running the country I believe America should be. Kerry is just as bad as Bush in my mind, i felt that i was voting for the lesser of two evils. So Kerry supports... get over yourselves.

Our greatest natural resource: Us, the youth
It has been said that our generation (gen. Next) is the most politicaly active generation EVER, and that more great politicians will come from our peers than ever before in hstory, if you want the cahnge you were hoping for in this election put yourself among those "great" politicians and when you are able to, make the changes yourself.

THe greatest "shot in the arm": Encouragement
Instead of bitching and moaning about who is or isn't president let us encourage he who is president where each of us individualy feel he needs it or can have it.

The greatest Problem to overcome: FEAR
Why are we afraid of who is president and not the guy next to us on the street with 50 lbs of explosives in his pants? It seems to me that the latter is much more relavant to a post 9/11 america. And no matter who is president, they will be trying to protect us from that kind of harm in one way or another.

The worst thing to be without: Hope
All there is left for us to do is hope that Bush will lead this country in a way that everyone can in one way or another respect.

The greatest asset: Faith
We all need to have faith that this is happening for a reason that will overall benefit the state in which our country is in. This is after all "One nation UNDER GOD"

The most worthless emotion: Self-pity
Stop all of this woe-is-me B.S. Just remember that we live in a country where we can vote for who will lead us and then bash who is leading us if we don't approve. You can be killed for that elsewhere.

The most prized possession: Integrity
Most of all we as Americans need to carry our selves with integrity and that will get us the respect we deserve from the world.

The most powerful channel of communication: Prayer
If you need this explained to you, you should move to Texas. Nevermind they stopped killing retards...

The most important thing in life: a rlationship with Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior...

i may not be the best with words when it comes to voicing my opinion but ut seems to me that as a Kerry supporter in this last election, if Bush won with the most votes ever, ther are a lot more people out there that know something i don't. So instead of finding all of the things that i can hate about Bush i am going to find things that i can sand behind him on....

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[07 Sep 2004|07:58pm]
[ mood | AMAZING ]

great day, great times, i miss some of my friends, i think that i will call them soon. i love you all and garden state is amazing.... hehe i love today

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Butterflies and Questions [06 Sep 2004|11:29pm]
[ mood | numb ]

Can you feel the feeling fleeting?
Can you feel the butterflies?
Heart rates are speeding
Like existentialism in the press
But who will hear that noise?
Being loosely religious and
Athiest in vary
Who will hear this noise

It's time to rediscover
So tear off all the covers
And leave your alias at home
It's time to be uncovered
And turn all of the lights on
Amidst this darkened room we stand

It is said to love thy enemy
And see the least of these as equals
And the rightous shall be bathed
In the blood of the wicked
But who's to say they're right?
For he wihtout sin please cast the first stone
And pour your soul into His light

And it's time to rediscover
So leave all the lights on
And leave the animosity at the door
Then step into the light and
The carnage oustside these walls

The feeling is fleeting
Hatred is speeding
And my eyes are drowning me

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Highschool drama will never go away...... [03 Sep 2004|12:07am]
[ mood | hurt ]

I have never done anything but try to be the best friend that i can, i have never lied to any of my friends and i have done my best to not be shady, but i guess that it was a ll just a waste of my fucking time because you found something that you say i have been shady about. This post does not apply to all of my friends by any stretch of the imagination and i know that the few i am talking about know who they are. In all of the time at the condo i sat through countless talks about how well bands were doing which band was doing more, and a whole lot of other bullshit. All the whil i just sat back and listened never once interjecting what significant events where transpiring in my life never "bragging" about a big opportunity presented to me. But, i put up with it all of the fucking time. Now i find out that people have been talking about me behind my back and, so i have heard through the grapevine, talking about all of the "lies that i have told". i want to get all of this cleared up because if those of you to whom this pertains to, we have been out of highschool for 2 years now and this is freshman level drama. First off, the first thing i can think of is my recording stuff, any of you reading this that don't know a few months ago i was beginning to set up a recording studio in the shed behind my moms house, now this soon turned into me wanting to start a record label. Though this did not fall through (appearantly that happens a lot with me, i get excited about something big and then it falls through) it was put on hold, for a few reasons. One: i lost the condo and don't have the money to throw down right now, Two: because the person who was going to be my partner ended up not being partner material for a record label. Three: my dad has still not taken all of his shit out of the shed here i will be making the studio. Another major thing that has fallen through was my internship in NY. and that i think stings the most, and here is why. I have never once been asked to be in a band, countless music evdeavors by countless friends and i have never been asked to play. i sit and listen to friends whine baout how they don't have another guitarist and shit yet they don't ask me. Fuck that and fuck them. So coming to grips with the fact that no one really wants to be in a band with me i decide that i belong behind the pictures, an engineer or something. so i start canvassing record labels with e-mails asking for internships, i'm doing this for months and finally i get a response. and when i don't get it, it is supposed to be a suprise. wl what just because i'm not so self involved i have to talk about my band all of the fucking time, i'm lying because it fell through? sounds pretty fucked up to me. And i don't know why i think that this will help, because it's in an Lj and we know how many problems Lj's have solved... so in closing to those hearing this in direct regards, you have burned this bridge, so YOU have to re-build what you have destroyed, and if you don't value my friendship enough to do so, it is on your concience not mine.... so there you have it... Highschool drama

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yeah myspace! [02 Sep 2004|05:24am]
[ mood | tired ]

so i have a myspace profile now and itis exciting... so all of my friends who have pictures of me will you please send them to me so that i may post them on my myspace... that would be amazing and i would love you forever. anyways on to less mundane things, so i have had the last three days off and have done absolutely nothing and it is amazing... i love work but i love days off even more... yeah i have been watching a lot of movies lately and just watched "The Passion of the Christ" yesterday....INTENSE... i still don't know how i am supposed to feel about it... it kind of got me back on track in that regard though which is definately a good thing. and yeah i went to th TP show tonight and it was SOOO good i have not seen those guys for a long time, i missed them on tour, and the graceland show was good but they have soo much making up to do for their time gone it isn't even funny... but yeah i am really tired and want to go to bed goodnight

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........................ [25 Aug 2004|04:22pm]
[ mood | still determined ]


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Mary-Kate hmmmmmmmmmmmm......... [25 Aug 2004|12:12am]
[ mood | determined ]

so yeah i just got done watching the latest olsen twins movie. I LOVE THE OLSEN TWINS!!!!!!! i have been re-convicted to marry one of them and have now narrowed it down to either Mary-Kate or Ashley...... im sooo screwed. Any ways the movie was great becouse the loves of my life were in it and i cant watch that movie wiht out getting love pangs in my chest, and those really hurt. so sorry for any broken hearts out there but, i am saving myself now for the olsen twins (right now i am leaning more towards MK, she's a little more emo). go rent the movie and be really fucking lame like me. i love you all and i want to hang out with my friends so give me a call or i will call you either way. peace

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hmmm...... pondering life sucks [18 Aug 2004|05:59pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so i am always really bored and never see anyone anymore. i hate to think that come into this circle of friends too late and that the time has come that we are all going our seperate ways.... things are starting to present themselves to me now and it is all turning out to be evidence against me..... i miss you all, you know who you are, and i hope that i was/am good to you all and those who i wasn't, i'm sorry.

Closure is painful, goodbyes are bittersweet, i really hope it was worth it.... wish you all the best in days to come....

Don't let me drown, please someone teach me how to swim......

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again with the posting every once in a while.... [04 Aug 2004|10:35pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

so i am starting to get more hours at express now and it is loads of fun. i bought a lot of outrageous threads today.... haha threads..... but yeah i promise to start posting on a regular basis again because i miss hearing whats up. i love you all and i will see you all very soon i hope. peace.

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meh [18 Jul 2004|05:20pm]
[ mood | blah ]

no money, no car, really bored, no one calls me, sitting at home with my mom..... meh

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i'm back on lj [09 Jul 2004|01:42am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

so this is my first post in a long time and i feel like i have been missing out on a lot, i miss all of my friends. and since they never call me to hang out, it's kinda normal i guess. anyways the flophouse is dead, a new place should be up shortly i hope, didn't get my internship, that was a while ago and i'm over it. i lost my car, bad news. i haven't worked out for a long time and now i am really fat. j/k...... i think. but yeah if anyone wants to go see dodgeball or napolean dynamite with me call me because i am lonely and dont want to go alone.

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AAAHHHH!! [22 Jun 2004|06:13pm]
[ mood | sad and overwhelmed ]

i am gettting really sad now about this whole thing about NY and stuff. i am really overwhelmed by the opportunity (in a good way) and i am really anxious to get out there if i get the internship but at the same time i am really sad that i won't be able to see any of you guys for like 4 years. i mean right now it doesn't sound bad but put yourself in my shoes and it's a little bit different. in 4 years most all of my friends will be out of college and starting their lives, some of my friends may be married and have families or be on their way to having families, ross may not be a virgin anymore, i mean it is really wierd to think about that stuff. it's one thing for me to be there while all of this is happening but to leave and not really be to up to date with all of the stuff happening here and just come back..... i wouild feel like i had missed out on a lot of times and good memories with all of my friends, and there is nothing saying that all of my friends would be anywhere near this area in 4 years, so i may never see some of again. i have also come to the some what painfull realization that if i go i probably won't ever come back to this area for more than a visit from time to time. i love you all and thank you for your support and insights.

ps if i don't get the position i will most likely be moving to bham and living with jeff and patty. i need a good long change of scene. peace biatches.

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i need help from all of my friends....... [22 Jun 2004|03:20am]
[ mood | confused ]

i have been presented with a possibly life altering desicion to make. it would involve me moving away at the end of the summer and moving to New York to intern at a recording studio that is owned by virgin records. i would be paid the "cost of living", basically they pay for my food, an apartment, and subway fares. the thing that makes this so amazing to me is that they do not require any prior schooling, or training per say, they said that i will be given hands on training. i have been dreamin gof an opportunity like this ever since i started thinking of music in an annalytical way. the problem i am having is that it would be soooo soon and i would not see any of you for a loooong time, like 3-4 years, until i am assistant engineer, and then i can request time off and vacation and shit. i don't know what to do someone help me thing about this rationally please. this has been eating at me for days now. i love you all.

ps i know that i get pretty hyped about thing that ore really friggin flaky but this is actually really a serious deal know, and it has thrown me.

5 comments|post comment

random nights of mischief and chaos [21 Jun 2004|04:24am]
[ mood | mischievous ]

fire works are fun.......

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YAY FRIENDS!! [20 Jun 2004|11:22pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

so ther are peeps all up in the flophouse and it is amazing!!!! anyways so if you are not here you need to be!!!! you are officially SQUARE!! and that sucks for you..... anyways you can call me it is a lot of fun over here right now so i am back to my friends aka MARYJANE, DAN!!!, PHIL, CHRISTIE, CARSON, KT, HILLY, MICHELLE!!!!, and DUSTIN. YAY FLOPHOUSE!!!! te te a fin tata for now!

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